Here is something I wrote last year while Vicki and I were training for our marathon. I was feeling trapped and not very hopeful. I love how Jesus showed up for me right in the middle of all of the stuff! Anyway, I wanted to share this with you guys.
When Vicki and I began jogging down the road at 5:40 pm that Sunday afternoon, the sun was shining hot on our backs. Expecting this, however, we kept running and broke sweat shortly afterwards. For 1.5 miles, we grudgingly moved forwards. I swear, even the tar on the road was melting. We rounded the first curve of Western road. Still boiling. I'll have to wring out my shirt! I thought.
Around the next curve we went. Still hot. Well, there was a little bit of shade. At the intersection of Zuercher and Western, things changed almost suddenly. I noticed a fresh breeze wicking away my sweat drops. And than I looked at the tree's -- how did God come up with that color of orange? He did it just to catch my eye, I knew. The green grass, the silent pond, the cicada's singing in the tree's -- that beautiful fall foliage set off by sunshine -- the rustling of those leaves by the gentle breeze working double time to cool me down... It was time, I realized, to stop trying to finish our run on time and relax. Time to enjoy God's beauty, and let it do what it should in my heart. So I did.
Truth be told, I'd had a rough week. Really rotten, actually. The court case threw all kinds of curveballs my way. Financial troubles, increased responsibility, more tension and misunderstanding between family members: those were a few of my troubles. Then, a good friend was in trouble, with questions for God that I couldn't answer. All I could do was try to love instead of judge, while everything else in my life was snowballing into emotional chaos. Church that Sunday morning had been no good for my crispy burnt heart. More talking, watching my friends and siblings be torn up with questions about how life had gotten so narrow in spite of our love for Jesus. I understood those questions, but again had no answers to give. Everywhere I looked that week, I'd seen hard questions, broken hearts, tension and everything was so goddamn wrong! I didn't want to talk to anybody -- I needed to sort it out myself. My heart was in bad shape that beautiful fall evening.
As I ran, however, I began to relax. My heart soaked in that fall beauty like a sponge. I told Vicki about my horrible week. She told me about hers. I felt understood, like I mattered somehow. Later, in the evening, on the 13th mile, the twilight deepened. Lightening flickered through a soft purple-blue sky. The cicada's still sang.
We finished in record time. Three hours, forty minutes for 19 miles. While I was showering that night, I realized that the run had been my church service. Jesus had broken through all the swirling confusion and sadness to get to me. I found a scrap of paper from that evening later. I had written "I know Jesus loves me because he takes care of my heart."
